The evening of the warmest month in this northern part of the country was surprisingly cool. The yesterday’s dust storm and a little drizzle on the outskirts of the city had lowered the temperature in the walled city. The old bazaar of Meerut city looked busy as East India Company’s officers were out with their wives and girlfriends to shop for the Sunday morning feast which was at the Church. I’d been here hundred times before to sell little produce from my tiny land. The Saheb’s were the miser but Memsaab’s were always generous. Saheb’s looked very different from us. They were tall and strongly built while their Memsaab’s looked like a winter Jasmine. While our women worked in the fields braving sharp Sun; the Memsaab’s were always neat, organized and the fragrance of their white skin was enough to make us lose our nerves. While other men at bazaar ogled at Memsaab’s small white breast which runs free, I dreamt of what was beneath the pair. I dreamt of their heart. No doubt that Memsaab’s were not very popular among our women.
God was not on the Church’s side on this day and it was bad enough to be a woman at the bazaar on this evening. We’d heard of Sepoy Mutiny in Bengal but never believed that it would cover a hundred miles so soon to reach here. We were numb for few minutes as the huge crowd of around hundred fifty Sepoys struck the bazaar, armed with rifles and swords.
‘Run!’ Chottu said as the peacock feathers from white women’s hat were thrown in the air. It was foolish to come in the way of the triumphant progress of Sepoys. With every man for himself, my eyes met the eyes of a young Memsaab who struggled to lift herself from the dusty ground.
‘Help me!’ she said covering her face and screamed.
Her noble beauty was the invaluable asset as she caught my attention. She had clear white skin, light blue tiny eyes, a seducing mole on the lip and a white bosom. Her rich noble family would have been proud of her. The Sepoys pounced on her like an eagle which grabs its prey.
‘Leave her, please,’ I pleaded to the armed comrades.
‘Back off Naseer. She is ours now,’ the Sepoy with long dark hair said as he pushed me down with a butt of his rifle. He lived in the same village as mine, across my house at the end of the lane.
‘You take my earrings and the necklace. They are expensive,’ she said.
‘We will take them. You need not worry about them. What about you white people taking away our dharma?’ he said as another Sepoy cut her neck a little for the necklace and mocked her.
‘Just watch her neck. She is bleeding from there,’ I said.
‘You are very concerned for her. Why don’t you come here? We will put down a stick down your throat mullah,’ the Sepoy laughed on me.
‘Aah! Bitch,’ the Sepoy screamed as the girl bit his hand.
‘How dare you touch me? Don’t you know who I am?’ she said as she kicked, fought and bitten a Sepoy to escape.
‘A white mischievous girl! We can run you over by these horses, so behave,’
‘Memsaab, grab my khurki…..they will lay the hand on your modesty. But it may help,’ I tried to convince her as it was the matter of heart and her honor.
‘I wish I was not beautiful. They would have spared me then.’ She said as she cried. I was convinced that she had given up.
Without showing any mercy, they took my dream away. They took away many other white men’s dreams this evening. She looked back into my eyes as they carried her on the horse. I hope she noticed shades of love for her in my eyes. The evening summer ended sadly. I searched for her in the vacant plots, fields and on the banks of Yamuna. It ended in disappointment. I cursed myself. I couldn’t save her.
Few months passed as I laid myself on the cot for a little sunshine on the roof of a single-story hut on the cold winter afternoon. The women whispered in the foggy haze as I did not try to pay attention to it. The demonic incidents of mutiny were still fresh in my thoughts as each night I dreamt of love with the young beauty. Deep into my thoughts, I noticed the raging beauty walking towards the hut. As the image got near, the woman looked familiar which got me confused. I wore the skull cap on my head and in curiosity fell down from the roof on the dry paddy leaves.
‘Remember me!’ she said as I tried to lift myself from uneven ground.
‘Yes….I searched for you all over. I was worried for you and even had bad thoughts.’ I said. She looked beautiful, much whiter than earlier, like a stage actress which put the lot of white powder on their face. But she had same light blue eyes.
‘Your bad thoughts were not false. They took me to an open field, behind the rail track wall. They ruined me one by one,’
‘It’s terrible. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything for you that evening. I feel so helpless that day. So where have you been all these months? What brought you here?’
‘You said I was in your thoughts. I couldn’t go further. I noticed love in your eyes. I had to come for you,’
‘It’s feel good that you noticed love in my eyes,’
‘Yes….the spark of love brought me here. My terrible dream ended in the field that night,’
I became tongue-tied and felt little awkward.
‘So what do you want me to do? Report to the police,’ I asked her with a gentle hiccup.
‘There is no need to. They can’t do anything now,’ she replied.
‘Do you want me to take you to your family?’
‘They have nothing to do with me now,’
‘What can I do for you?’
‘Walk with me to the vacant field behind the rail track wall. Only you can take me there. I will find peace there, and may be little love. With you, of course,’
‘I’ll take you there,’ I agreed to take her to the open field behind the rail track.
I started to search for my skull cap as it was missing from my head.
‘What are you searching for?’
‘My skull cap. I think it fell from my head as I hit the dry paddy.’
I turned to see a familiar face lying on the ground with blood oozing out from its head on the dry paddy. The skull cap was lying next to him. It was Naseer’s.
God was not on the Church’s side on this day and it was bad enough to be a woman at the bazaar on this evening. We’d heard of Sepoy Mutiny in Bengal but never believed that it would cover a hundred miles so soon to reach here. We were numb for few minutes as the huge crowd of around hundred fifty Sepoys struck the bazaar, armed with rifles and swords.
‘Run!’ Chottu said as the peacock feathers from white women’s hat were thrown in the air. It was foolish to come in the way of the triumphant progress of Sepoys. With every man for himself, my eyes met the eyes of a young Memsaab who struggled to lift herself from the dusty ground.
‘Help me!’ she said covering her face and screamed.
Her noble beauty was the invaluable asset as she caught my attention. She had clear white skin, light blue tiny eyes, a seducing mole on the lip and a white bosom. Her rich noble family would have been proud of her. The Sepoys pounced on her like an eagle which grabs its prey.
‘Leave her, please,’ I pleaded to the armed comrades.
‘Back off Naseer. She is ours now,’ the Sepoy with long dark hair said as he pushed me down with a butt of his rifle. He lived in the same village as mine, across my house at the end of the lane.
‘You take my earrings and the necklace. They are expensive,’ she said.
‘We will take them. You need not worry about them. What about you white people taking away our dharma?’ he said as another Sepoy cut her neck a little for the necklace and mocked her.
‘Just watch her neck. She is bleeding from there,’ I said.
‘You are very concerned for her. Why don’t you come here? We will put down a stick down your throat mullah,’ the Sepoy laughed on me.
‘Aah! Bitch,’ the Sepoy screamed as the girl bit his hand.
‘How dare you touch me? Don’t you know who I am?’ she said as she kicked, fought and bitten a Sepoy to escape.
‘A white mischievous girl! We can run you over by these horses, so behave,’
‘Memsaab, grab my khurki…..they will lay the hand on your modesty. But it may help,’ I tried to convince her as it was the matter of heart and her honor.
‘I wish I was not beautiful. They would have spared me then.’ She said as she cried. I was convinced that she had given up.
Without showing any mercy, they took my dream away. They took away many other white men’s dreams this evening. She looked back into my eyes as they carried her on the horse. I hope she noticed shades of love for her in my eyes. The evening summer ended sadly. I searched for her in the vacant plots, fields and on the banks of Yamuna. It ended in disappointment. I cursed myself. I couldn’t save her.
Few months passed as I laid myself on the cot for a little sunshine on the roof of a single-story hut on the cold winter afternoon. The women whispered in the foggy haze as I did not try to pay attention to it. The demonic incidents of mutiny were still fresh in my thoughts as each night I dreamt of love with the young beauty. Deep into my thoughts, I noticed the raging beauty walking towards the hut. As the image got near, the woman looked familiar which got me confused. I wore the skull cap on my head and in curiosity fell down from the roof on the dry paddy leaves.
‘Remember me!’ she said as I tried to lift myself from uneven ground.
‘Yes….I searched for you all over. I was worried for you and even had bad thoughts.’ I said. She looked beautiful, much whiter than earlier, like a stage actress which put the lot of white powder on their face. But she had same light blue eyes.
‘Your bad thoughts were not false. They took me to an open field, behind the rail track wall. They ruined me one by one,’
‘It’s terrible. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything for you that evening. I feel so helpless that day. So where have you been all these months? What brought you here?’
‘You said I was in your thoughts. I couldn’t go further. I noticed love in your eyes. I had to come for you,’
‘It’s feel good that you noticed love in my eyes,’
‘Yes….the spark of love brought me here. My terrible dream ended in the field that night,’
I became tongue-tied and felt little awkward.
‘So what do you want me to do? Report to the police,’ I asked her with a gentle hiccup.
‘There is no need to. They can’t do anything now,’ she replied.
‘Do you want me to take you to your family?’
‘They have nothing to do with me now,’
‘What can I do for you?’
‘Walk with me to the vacant field behind the rail track wall. Only you can take me there. I will find peace there, and may be little love. With you, of course,’
‘I’ll take you there,’ I agreed to take her to the open field behind the rail track.
I started to search for my skull cap as it was missing from my head.
‘What are you searching for?’
‘My skull cap. I think it fell from my head as I hit the dry paddy.’
I turned to see a familiar face lying on the ground with blood oozing out from its head on the dry paddy. The skull cap was lying next to him. It was Naseer’s.
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